In any gathering or event, most of us are participants. At least, the lucky ones are. 

There’s always someone who gathers everybody, find a most convenient date, be responsible for the turn-out, sometimes choosing the venue and making reservations and what-not. 

I am of the opinion that I am horrigibly bad at maintaining friendships. But I try, mostly by organising outings.

Despite my relative lack of a social life, I find myself the organiser of a few gatherings. And I think it is a tough, and sometimes unsung job that somebody has to do.

It is okay if you do not feel like taking up the mantle to organise an event, just don’t make it hard for the organiser!

But how? Here’s my 2 cents’ worth:

  1. Be responsive. When you receive an invitation, reply - even if you are unsure of your availability - just reply saying so, and remember to get back to the organiser once you are certain. 

    I usually do my organizing through SMSes, and I really need to know whether you are agreeable to what I plan, or if you have received my SMS. A reply saying “Okay” really helps - a lot.

  2. Be interested. If you can’t make it for the day stated on the invite, suggest an alternative so the organizer knows his options without having to ask again blindly. If you just reply you can’t, you give a vibe that you cannot care less for the outing or its participants. At least, that is what I feel - that you don’t really care about meeting us.

    How does “Oh, that day I already have something” sound when compared to “Oh, that day I can’t make it, but the next weekends I’m okay”?

  3. Be appreciative. Respect the organiser by letting him know if you are going to be late, so he can adjust his plans accordingly.

  4. Be a great help. By volunteering as the organizer for the next outing! I know a few friends who are so tired of being the planner every single time that they stopped - and then the gatherings stopped too.

Admittedly, I am guilty of most of the above, but having preached it — I will now practise it, as far as I can.

Dear friends, would you please, too?

P.S: For the organisers in my life - Ming Hui, Jie, Galvin, Dedrick, Xue Li, Wen Han, Keil, Bryan, Alvin Buddy, Swee Ching, Tze Quan (and a few more that I can’t remember off-hand) — thank you!